Monday, September 21, 2009

Sex = Baby

47. Promote truth.
"Outline ten truths you believe to be universal."

1. If you have sex, you WILL get pregnant.
2. Splitting the bill on a date is about the most tacky thing ever.
3. You should never be financially reliant on another person. You want money? Make it yourself, girls.
4. Natural birth is the most empowering thing any person can ever do. Nothing a mere male can even dream of doing could ever hope to measure up.
5. Clean teeth make you go faster.
6. You can always look better by walking away from the mirror, and coming back to look from another angle.
7. The weak run away. If/when they come back, they have gained some wisdom. If they stay, they have strengthened.
8. Regrets are useless. A step in the right direction will cure what ails you.
9. Fake tan fixes everything.
10. Farts are just about the funniest thing in the world. Especially when the joke is shared with a three-year-old.

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